


Something To Prove

by LoriLee (cowgirl65)



Category: The Big Valley
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-04
Updated: 2011-07-04
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:10:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowgirl65/pseuds/LoriLee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jarrod tries to break a wild stallion.  based on an incident mentioned in the episode "Run Of The Cat"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something To Prove

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own The Big Valley and make nothing from writing this other than cheap thrills

I

 

“Now, Nick, are you telling me that horse has you beat?”

Nick turned a derisive glare on his older brother. “No, Pappy, that’s not what I’m telling you. It’s just that it’s gonna take a little longer to break him than we figured.”

Jarrod snorted as Nick strode over to pour himself a glass of whiskey. “Maybe, brother Nick, Lightning’s just too much horse for you and Heath to handle.”

“And maybe, brother Jarrod, you shouldn’t be criticizing things you know nothing about, sitting behind a desk all day.” Nick plopped himself into a chair and put his feet on the table before taking a swallow of his drink.

Jarrod bristled. When Nick and Heath stated their intention of heading out after the chestnut stallion that had been running free in the foothills, he’d volunteered to go with them. After being in Sacramento for the past month lobbying on behalf of the small farmers in the valley in a mostly futile effort to get legislated fair and reasonable shipping rates for their produce from the railroad, the dark haired lawyer was feeling down and dispirited and a horse-hunting expedition with his brothers sounded like just the thing he needed to unwind.  
But his suggestion was met with incredulous looks and snorts of laughter from the ranchers who weren’t shy about voicing their disbelief that the sophisticated attorney was serious about helping them catch the wild stallion. Rather than endure their mockery, Jarrod went along with them, letting his brothers think his offer had been made in jest and Nick and Heath arrived home triumphantly a few days later, Lightning in tow, fighting the lead for all he was worth.

Jarrod felt a measure of wicked satisfaction when Nick entered the house that afternoon, dishevelled and dirty from being thrown yet again by the horse, but that satisfaction was marred by irritation at Nick’s cutting remark.

Nick continued speaking, oblivious to his brother’s annoyance. “Been a long time since you’ve been on the back of an unbroken horse, counsellor. Heath and I can handle him, but I tell you, it’d be a lot of fun to see you picking yourself out of the dirt.” He gave Jarrod a superior smirk.

Jarrod wasn’t in the mood to be put into a position where Nick could laugh at him again. “Don’t you think these lily white hands would look rather silly trying to break a wild horse?” he asked sarcastically, throwing back Nick’s words of a few months before. He’d never told his brother how much those words bothered him. It was as if Nick had forgotten all the times they’d worked on the ranch together, with their father even while Jarrod was studying law and on more recent occasions when he joined both his brothers on a short drive or on roundup. “If you and Heath can’t handle him, I’m sure a soft city lawyer couldn’t do any better,” he finished bitterly, downing his glass of scotch in one swallow.

Nick snorted, laughing. “Well, Lighting ain’t going nowhere, maybe you should give it a try,” he teased with a cheerful insolence.

A cold rage started in Jarrod’s belly, working its way up. Just because most of his time was spent behind a desk didn’t mean he didn’t work hard and he was overcome with an irresistible urge to make Nick show him some respect. He slammed his glass down on the table. “All right, brother Nick,” Jarrod snarled, “consider that horse broken.”

 

Nick was floored as his older brother stalked across the room, snagging his hat and gloves on the way out the door. He only meant to tease Jarrod, just a little good-natured ribbing between brothers, but Jarrod’s responses had been more than a bit on the testy side.

Why the devil would Jarrod want to break a wild horse? He wasn’t a rancher, he was a lawyer, he had enough to do dealing with all those contracts and business issues that only gave Nick a headache. Suddenly, Nick understood the look that briefly passed over Jarrod’s face at his and Heath’s reaction to their older brother’s suggestion of joining them on the hunt for the stallion. Nick closed his eyes and sighed, feeling guilty. He should’ve seen it, should’ve recognized Jarrod’s desire to get away, back to the ranching he knew the lawyer still enjoyed on occasion and just spend some time, the three of them together. But no, he had to laugh, Heath following along and Nick realized Jarrod had walled off his disappointment, letting them think he’d only been joking to save face.

Nick knew he owed his big brother an apology and resolved to do it right away, before Jarrod did something foolish like mount that renegade horse and seriously injure himself. In spite of what he’d said earlier, Nick had to admit the stallion might be too much for even he or Heath to handle, let alone Jarrod who hadn’t helped with the horse breaking for years.

He hurriedly followed Jarrod out of the house and caught up as his dark haired brother was preparing to climb into the corral.

“Jarrod,” Heath was telling him, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing. Breaking horses is mine and Nick’s job, not yours. I don’t think sitting at your desk is gonna be too comfortable after your backside’s been on top of that stallion.”

Nick caught the icy glare Jarrod threw at Heath then himself when the lawyer realized he was there. “I’ll kindly have you remember, brothers, that I have a stake in this ranch, too.” He pulled on his gloves and swung himself over the fence.

Heath leaned on the top rail as Jarrod approached the chestnut. “Boy howdy, Nick, who put the burr under his saddle?”

Nick indicated to the perplexed ranch hand in the corral that he should listen to Jarrod, knowing he’d never get his brother to back down, and then shook his head at the blond regretfully. “We did, Heath. And we owe Pappy one big apology. Assuming he comes through this in one piece.”

Everything happened before Heath could ask Nick to explain. Jarrod was firmly in the saddle, nodding to Jody to release the horse. The stallion stood stock still for a split second, and then bounded into the air, landing with a bone-jarring jolt on all four feet before erupting in a flurry of bucking. Jarrod hung on grimly, muscles in his arms and neck corded tight. Nick and Heath watched, not breathing as their older brother stayed on for at least ten seconds.

Then Lightning gave a mighty twist of his hindquarters and Jarrod lost his grip, flying from the horse’s back and landing with a sickening thud. The animal immediately stopped, snorting and tossing his head before meandering to the other side of the corral as if nothing had happened.

Leaping over the fence, Heath was the first to reach his fallen brother. Jarrod groaned as Heath helped him sit.

“You okay, Jarrod?”

Jarrod shook his head, trying to clear it as Nick crouched beside him. “Yeah, I’m all right,” he reassured them, but he gasped and his face contorted in agony as he tried to get his feet under him.

“Jarrod?” Nick asked, concerned. “What is it?”

Jarrod closed his eyes, forehead lined with pain as he reached down past his knee. “My right leg.” He tried to move it again. “Hurts like the devil.”  
Nick ran his hand down Jarrod’s leg and the attorney bit his lip to keep from crying out. He looked up at the concerned cowhand. “Jody, ride into town and get Dr. Merar. Tell him Jarrod’s got himself a busted leg.”

“Now, Nick,” Jarrod protested as his brothers positioned themselves on either side and helped him up, “I just twisted something, it’s not broke---” He was cut off by another spasm of pain when he tried to put weight on his right leg.

“Yeah, sure it’s not,” Nick told him as he draped Jarrod’s arm over his shoulders and grabbed on to the back of his belt, Heath doing the same on the opposite side. “C’mon, Heath, let’s get Pappy into the house.”

Jarrod was sweating by the time they got to the house, his face ashen. Rather than try to make his injured brother climb all those stairs, Nick elected to settle Jarrod on the sofa in the parlour, carefully resting his right leg on a pillow and sending Heath for a couple more. Jarrod lay back and closed his eyes in relief.  
Nick sat on the table beside him. “That was a damn fool stunt, Jarrod. You had no business being on that horse.” The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think and Nick immediately wished he could take them back.

Jarrod didn’t look at him, just kept his eyes closed. “And you have no right telling me what is and isn’t my business,” he said quietly.

“Look, Jarrod…” Nick started, but the lawyer cut him off.

“Just go away, Nick. Leave me alone, all right?” Jarrod threw an arm over his face, effectively shutting Nick out.

“Whatever you want, Jarrod,” Nick replied, reluctantly leaving the room, unable to think of anything else to say. He intercepted Heath at the top of the stairs. “Don’t think he wants to be disturbed.”

Heath glanced down to Jarrod’s resting form. “Nick, what did you mean when you said we caused Jarrod to act like that? Why’d you reckon we owe him an apology?”

Nick gestured for Heath to follow and the two men went into Nick’s room. “Remember Jarrod offering to come with us when we went out after Lightning?”

Heath nodded, leaning back on the table. “Yep. Not the sort of thing our big brother’s usually interested in doing. He looked mighty tired too, reckoned he’d just want to take some time off and unwind.”

Nick sighed in regret. “Think that’s what he was trying to do. Get out, work off some of that stress of being cooped up for over a month with stiff-necked politicians. And we made him think his help wasn’t welcome, that we just didn’t want him with us.”

“So he almost broke his neck riding an unbroken stallion to prove that we were wrong,” Heath finished insightfully. “And me telling him it wasn’t his job likely didn’t help.” He shook his head. “Reckon you’re right, Nick, we do owe Jarrod an apology. He might not work the ranch like we do, but he can still hold his own out there. We should’ve asked him to come along, we just don’t get to spend enough time with our big brother.”

“That is a fact, Heath,” Nick agreed, getting an idea. “Hey, what do you say we take a week or so and head out for some hunting and fishing? The winter’s been pretty mild. We could go up to the lodge or just do some camping, whatever Jarrod wants when he’s feeling better.”

“Sounds all right by me, Nick,” Heath replied with a grin. “Don’t reckon he’ll be ready for anything for a few weeks at least, give us some time to get everything caught up so we don’t hafta hurry back.”

Nick clapped his blond brother on the back. “C’mon, let’s go set things straight with Jarrod.”

*

Jarrod lay on the sofa, arm over his face, listening to the jingle of Nick’s spurs as he retreated up the stairs. His body was a mass of aches and his leg throbbed mercilessly. God, he felt like an idiot. What on earth had possessed him to climb onto that horse? He thought back to Nick’s comment that he knew nothing about breaking horses and the flash of anger he had in response, anger he now knew was completely unjustified. Nick and Heath were right in their opinions; he was a soft city lawyer and had no business interfering with real ranch work. _Better stick to contracts and payrolls,_ he told himself, feeling miserable, _that’s all your lily-white hands are good for._

“Jarrod, what is that dusty boot doing on my good pillow?”

Jarrod moved his arm, stifling a groan. Pain lanced through his leg as he tried to sit and he gave up, slowly lowering his head back down. “Sorry, lovely lady,” he told his mother apologetically. “I promise to buy you another one.”

Victoria couldn’t miss the paleness of his face and hurried over, sitting on the table beside his head. “What’s wrong, Jarrod? Are you hurt?”

Jarrod smiled but it was a poor imitation of his usual dashing expression. “Nick and Heath think I broke my leg.” A look of surprise came across Victoria’s face and he tried to reassure her. “Someone’s already gone for the doctor. I’ll be fine.”

Victoria fixed him with a stern look. “Do you care to tell me how your leg got broken? And just where are those brothers of yours?”

“They’re upstairs, I think. I asked them to leave me alone.”

When no other response was forthcoming, Victoria leaned over and lightly brushed his forehead with her fingertips. “Jarrod, sweetheart, what happened?”

Jarrod heaved a deep sigh and was thankful there was little pain at the movement. At least his ribs weren’t broken too. “Lightning threw me.”

“Lightning? That stallion Nick and Heath just caught?” Victoria’s tone was incredulous. “Whatever were you doing on that horse? And what were your brothers thinking, letting you ride him?”

Jarrod’s blue eyes turned hard. “My brothers,” he snapped, “did not let me ride him. I chose to do that all on my own.” He closed his eyes and turned away. “Maybe it was a mistake, but it was my mistake, no one else’s.”

Wisely, Victoria decided not to pursue it any further. “Are you in pain, Jarrod?” she asked gently.

Jarrod nodded slightly. “A little,” he admitted, meeting her concerned grey eyes, “enough to make me short-tempered. I’m sorry for snapping at you, Mother.”

She patted his shoulder soothingly. “Don’t mention it, sweetheart. Is there anything I can get you?”

Jarrod reached up and clasped her hand. “No thank you, lovely lady. If you don’t mind that I’m continuing to use your pillow as a footrest, I’ll just stay here until the doctor comes.”

Victoria gave his shoulder another reassuring squeeze before heading out of the parlour, meeting her other sons in the foyer. “Could I see you in the library?” She didn’t wait for an answer, knowing they would follow.

“Now tell me what happened,” she instructed them after entering the room. “I didn’t get much of an answer from your brother, so I want to hear it from you. Why in heaven’s name was Jarrod trying to ride that horse?”

Nick and Heath looked at each other, then at their feet, not meeting her eyes. She knew those expressions, for some reason, they were feeling guilty about Jarrod’s accident and she was determined to find out why.

“Reckon it was kinda our fault,” Heath confessed. “Tried to talk him out of it but…” He shrugged helplessly. “Think that only made things worse.”  
Victoria continued to wait for more of an explanation.

“Guess he felt he had something to prove,” Nick offered. “We sorta gave him the idea that we didn’t think he could handle it, that we didn’t want his help around the ranch.”

“And how would he have gotten an idea like that?” Victoria wanted to know.

“I reckon we just teased Jarrod one too many times.” Nick finally met Victoria’s eyes. “I swear, Mother, we didn’t mean anything by it. Heck, Jarrod’s welcome to come out on roundup or fix fences any time he wants.”

“And have you made sure he knows that?”

“We will,” Heath assured her. “In fact, we’re gonna go talk to him right now. C’mon, Nick.”

Victoria sighed and shook her head, a slight smile on her lips. All her children had a full measure of Barkley pride and Barkley stubbornness, but she knew her sons and knew they would work it out between them.

*

Nick and Heath made their way over to where Jarrod was lying.

“Hey, Jarrod, how’re you feeling?” Heath asked. “If there’s anything you need, I’ll be happy to get it for you.”

Jarrod didn’t acknowledge him, didn’t even open his eyes.

Nick took a turn. “Y’know, Pappy, you’ve been looking pretty tired since you got home from Sacramento. Me and Heath, we were talking, thought maybe you could use some time off.”

“I’m sure this leg’s going to give me all the rest I need,” Jarrod replied cynically, still not opening his eyes. “And besides, how could I be tired, sitting behind a desk all day?”

“Oh, c’mon, Pappy, I never meant anything by that!” Nick sat and grabbed Jarrod’s arm. “We’d be hard put to keep this place running without you and that’s a fact. Heck, sometimes after you’ve put in a whole day back in town, you help out even when you don’t need to.”

“We’re sorry, Jarrod,” Heath added. “We really thought you were just joking about wanting to go out with us to catch that horse. You looked so wore out, we thought you’d just want a chance to rest.”

Jarrod cracked open an eyelid. He saw the contrition written all over his brother’s faces; they both looked guilty and unhappy. Suddenly, he felt bad for the way he’d been acting. He was a bit depressed after his failure in the state capitol and let that colour his response to his siblings’ teasing. There’d always been friendly ribbing on all sides; somehow, in his worn-out state, he’d forgotten that. “I guess I should have said something more,” he said finally. “I don’t know, I suppose I’ve been feeling kinda out of sorts since coming home, and, well, I guess I overreacted. Sorry, boys.”

“Jarrod, you know you ain’t got nothing to prove to us,” Heath told him, his crooked grin slowly appearing. “But if you really want to help out with breaking horses, we can certainly oblige you. Just start out with something a little easier than a full-grown wild stallion, y’hear?”

Jarrod chuckled ruefully. “I hear you, brother Heath. I think I’ve learned my lesson, don’t worry.”

 

II

Jarrod started awake. He wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but guessed it was close to midnight. He knew he should try to get back to sleep, but the splints prevented him from getting comfortable and his leg itched unbearably. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Only two more weeks until Dr. Merar would let him take off the annoying splint. Two more weeks of hobbling around on crutches, two more weeks of having to endure wearing pants that had been split to the knee so he could get them on. Two more weeks of the constant reminder of his stupidity in trying to break that stallion.

Closing his eyes, Jarrod tried to clear his thoughts and go to sleep. The thought of his brothers intruded and Jarrod had to smile. Nick and Heath had been on their best behaviour around him those past few weeks, teasing each other excessively in an amusing attempt to show their big brother they didn’t mean it seriously, even going so far as asking his opinion on some day-to-day matters of running the ranch to make sure he didn’t feel left out. Jarrod was glad they restrained from mentioning his attempt to break Lightning; he felt foolish enough on his own without anyone else reminding him.

The three of them had plans to head up to the lodge for a week once Dr. Merar gave Jarrod the all clear and the lawyer was looking forward to spending some time with his brothers. It wasn’t often they had the chance to just spend time together and Jarrod intended to pull the biggest fish ever out of the lake, still wanting to show his brothers he was good for something other than drawing up contracts.

Suddenly, Jarrod didn’t feel like lying there any longer and grabbed the crutches that were propped by the side of the bed, levering himself to his feet. He made his way to the window and stared outside. The moon was full and cast a brilliant glow over the stable yard. Lightning was awake, moving about the corral, when suddenly he stopped and raised his head. Jarrod swore the stallion was staring right at where he stood.

The lawyer got the unmistakable feeling the horse was taunting him. _You thought you could master me?_ his attitude seemed to say. _I am stallion. I am king. It takes more of a man than you to control me._ With that, Lightning tossed his head and wheeled to the other side of the corral.

The urge not to let that animal best him grabbed hold of Jarrod and wouldn’t let go. Didn’t the old adage say a man had to get back on the horse that threw him? He knew Heath had been making some progress, Lightning finally grudgingly accepting a rider if only for a few short turns around the corral, but he was possessed with an overwhelming need to do it on his own, to prove his worth to the horse, to his brothers and most of all to himself, to Jarrod Barkley.

Jarrod tossed on a shirt and then pulled on his pants, not even caring about the indignity of the split seam, before wresting on his left boot. He grabbed his coat and, supported by the crutches, he made his way down the back stairs, careful not to wake anyone as he stealthily left the house.

“Just you wait, horse,” he muttered as he passed the corral, the chestnut stallion eyeing him suspiciously. He grabbed a bridle from just inside the stable door and threw it over his shoulder. Then he studied the saddles resting on a rail. There was no way he was going to be able to manage carrying a saddle and maneuver on his crutches at the same time, so he decided to forego that and just ride Lightning bareback. Of course, he still had no idea how he was going to accomplish mounting, either, but he wasn’t going to let something as trivial as a half-healed broken leg get in his way.

Hobbling back out to the corral, he opened the gate and slowly approached the stallion. The horse snorted and tossed his head, but Heath had done his job well and Lighting didn’t shy away. Jarrod managed to pull the bridle over the horse’s head and fasten it before thinking about just how far it was to the horse’s back. Jarrod estimated the chestnut was at least sixteen hands and there was no way he was going to be able to mount from the ground. Spotting some bales of hay stacked outside the corral, Jarrod looped the reins around his arm and started forward. Lightning balked briefly, then reluctantly followed. Jarrod limped out the gate, over to the hay and brought the horse to a halt in front of it. Resting his crutches against the fence, the lawyer awkwardly pulled himself onto the stacked bales. He grabbed his leg by one of the splints and as he tossed it over Lightning’s back, a brief thought flickered through his mind.

_What the devil am I doing?_

 

*  
Victoria wasn’t sure what woke her or what prompted her to don her dressing gown and look out the window. But the sight that confronted her made her question whether she actually was awake or was still dreaming.

Jarrod, her logical, level-headed lawyer, was in the corral with Lightning. Not only was he in the corral, he was putting a bridle on the temperamental beast, appearing for all the world to be preparing to go for a ride. The scene was so surreal, Victoria blinked her eyes several times and rubbed them vigorously, but she still saw Jarrod readying to ride the horse who threw him and broke his leg almost four weeks earlier.

As she hurried down the stairs, realizing she’d be too late to avert disaster if something did happen, Victoria wondered exactly what had gotten into her son. She’d heard of people walking in their sleep, doing things like dressing, eating and bathing while not awake. But none of her children had ever been afflicted and she was sure that wasn’t what was happening now. No, this was more likely a symptom of being a stubborn, prideful Barkley male and there was no way Jarrod was going to be able to avoid a severe tongue-lashing, assuming his foolhardiness didn’t kill him first.

She reached the corral just in time to see Jarrod swing his leg, splints and all, over Lightning’s back and barely keep from falling as the horse shifted suddenly. Victoria held her breath as he regained his balance and firmly took the reins in hand, nudging his mount into a slow walk. When she could see Jarrod had the animal under control, she planted her hands on her hips.

“Jarrod Thomas Barkley, you get down off that horse and come inside this instant!”

Jarrod turned and Victoria had to stifle a laugh at how much her grown son looked like a guilty little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She kept her expression stern, amusement warring with relief as he guided the horse back to his improvised mounting block and slid off. Walking over, she took Lightning’s reins as Jarrod struggled to manage crutches and horse at the same time. “I’ll put him back in the corral, Jarrod,” she said firmly, “and I’ll talk to you inside.”

“Yes, Mother,” Jarrod said meekly, but Victoria couldn’t miss the hint of satisfaction in his twinkling blue eyes.

 _And people wonder why my hair turned completely silver,_ she thought as she gave the stallion the freedom of the corral.

When she arrived in the house, Jarrod was seated in his favourite chair by the fireplace, leg stretched out in front of him. He gave her a disarming smile and she shook her head as she sat across from him.

“What am I going to do with you?” she said, exasperated.

“Give me a kiss and tell me how glad you are to have me as a son?” Jarrod suggested mischievously.

“Jarrod, I swear…”

Jarrod pushed himself out of the chair and used the table to move to sit beside Victoria on the sofa.

“I’m sorry, Mother,” he said, putting an arm around her and kissing her temple. “I really don’t know what got into me. And I certainly didn’t mean to worry you. I guess I just needed to prove to myself that I could do it, or maybe it’s just…” He shook his head as he looked at his hand in his lap, finding his feelings hard to explain.

Victoria reached out and cupped his chin in her hand, turning his head so he was facing her. “It’s just that you’re Tom Barkley’s son, and mine, determined and stubborn. It’s one of the things that makes you such a good lawyer and something you definitely share with your siblings. But Jarrod, please, no more riding until your leg is fully healed.”

Jarrod chuckled. “For you, lovely lady, anything.” He kissed her cheek again. “Well, I should probably get some sleep if I’m going to be in any shape to go off with my brothers in a couple weeks. _After_ I get the okay from Dr. Merar,” he added with a smile at her cautioning glare. He got off the sofa and hopped to grab his crutches, settling them and turning to give his mother a cheerful wink before he headed up the stairs.

Victoria sat for a few more minutes, gazing at the glowing embers of the banked fire. In spite of the fright he’d given her, Victoria’s heart swelled with pride in her eldest son, a son so dear to her heart.

He’d never have anything to prove to her.

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the conversation from “Run of the Cat”. Jarrod has just arrived home to discover an injured Nick is gone with the hunter, Tanner, to find the mountain lion that attacked him.
> 
> Jarrod: What the devil has gotten into him, anyway? What suddenly is so almighty important about hunting down a cat?  
> Audra: What was so important when you when out to ride Lightning during the middle of winter last year?  
> Jarrod: What’s that got to do with this?  
> Audra (to Victoria): He doesn’t see the comparison  
> Victoria: That’s odd. I see it very clearly. You wanted to break the horse; instead, the horse broke your leg.  
> Jarrod: Well, that…  
> Audra: So at midnight, with your leg in splints, you sneak out of the house and climb on the poor animal’s back…
> 
> Jarrod: Maybe I was just trying to prove that I… (long pause) And maybe I see the comparison after all.


End file.
